Soul-full Poetry

Where my Soul lives

There is nothing, nothing ever,
that repeats the existence of
the place I once saw up high.
This is where my soul lives
through my left and my right eye.
It is so clear, so beautiful,
we all belong there.

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Beautiful strangers

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I see beautiful people
looking through their windows,
trying to make sense of their lives
having all of their feelings…
I see darling angels
kissing beautiful strangers..
sending faith up to their doors
close to the sea, close to the shores…
Aren’t we so afraid to be
living life day after day.
Aren’t we so amazing,
all the beautiful strangers…
And when we all me on the street
when we all find what we need
oh, isn’t this life
such a beautiful crime, beautiful crime..

Svetlina

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Thoughts & Nuances Of Truth

No thought that was ever thought in this world has been lost. There are thoughts that we cannot bend enough to fit through language; they cannot be communicated, because language is a system, like any system – limited in individual experience. This is why truths are not transferred – there can be only nuances of a truth, leads and signs and no matter how much we communicate – truths are to be experienced. Everything and every thought is in a potential state until it is being brought into existence and called to action. This is why imagination is key to unlocking realities and truths. This is why thoughts are equal to actions and the separation of thoughts from hard matter is an illusion, that used to work as a protective shield. Now as there is a critical mass that accepts this reality, we can unlock the next key to a nuance of the truth of existence. Practically everything exists simultaneously on all levels (we don’t know the levels, psyche protects itself as this would be damaging) in all shape, form, sound, sign and thought. The essence is always in the gaps that occur due to our linear perceptions, the essence of Life is in the existence overlooked. The only freedom can be found in the silence of the present moment and this is why all teachings point to the moment – the experience we are scared to face as we realize it is not a matter of control, concept or analysis of any sort. Our experiences are vast and we, as humans, are a thought as well. The vastness of our experience depends on developing senses beyond what we agree that senses actually are; but in the common reality we seem to try to fit everything into one-size-fits-all, we naively tailor the truths, so that they are digestible by us as a mass, while each and every one of us experiences a different reality and the outside world is nothing, but the playground, the decor to sustain the illusion. It changes so slowly or so fast, that we cannot notice it, because we (again, we) don’t doubt it. Since everyone of us exists in a different reality, all paradoxes are not polar opposites, but compliant in terms of existence.

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Stuff Human Forgot By Being Asleep

Ten lines that the human being forgot from swimming lightly through life, guided only by outside stimuli and directed by his 5 senses. 

  1. Your mind is a brilliant chaotic machine with a vision of reality no one has ever seen.
  1. All there is available here are constructed illusions: illusions of free choice and illusions of having no choice. Illusions start with being “ill”. Being ill means believing and participating in systems, that do not respect your own reflections or choices; that sell and produce patterns that are easy and pleasant to swallow. Undoubtedly, those will come upon later in life as “mistakes” or as I call them – missed takes.
  1. By constructing our views based on the top layer of perceived reality, we are always living in an illusion that seems real and unchangeable.
  1. Truth cannot penetrate unless you doubt completely and utterly the physical realm of reality, because truth speaks in allegories, it is harsh and does not care about fabricated feelings. Organic truth is usually levels deep or right in front of your face, so close that it is hard to realize.
  1. What seems absurd is often a truth, in fact most truths are absurd at first, we reject them a number of times before giving them the benefit of the doubt. Why? I have no idea, but in Bulgaria it is the stubbornness and hotheadedness, that seem to act.
  1. People “fall in love” desperately with anything/anyone that projects a part of themselves, that they have voluntarily or involuntarily dismissed from their own self – they felt they were unworthy of it somehow. Sometimes due to past traumas, self-punishment or criticism, irrational subconscious beliefs of what is possible and impossible. That falling in love, usually short lived, in itself is an attempt for the soul to reconcile the broken part. Hence, the numerous “failed” relationships of our age. Loving relationships are not always easy to build these days. It is like trying to plant flowers while there is an earthquake.
  1. My own doings are not solely “my own” and the design of things, is by all means build on contentedness. From mirror neurons to absorbing the stimuli from the outside environment… just reconsider the feeling of being alone in your doings. Ever.
  1. The price of attention. We “pay attention”. You pay from your own soul bank through attention when you are feeding into things you do not want or need anymore in your sphere.
  1. The wall of protection behind the visible, is love. If I carry a gun and you carry a gun, if either one of us fires that gun we have already both lost the game. By loving the darkness (not taking pleasure in it! – loving – admitting its place in the world), you discharge the need of the gun. Fight it, struggle with it, resist it – it will always own you.
  1. Having information means nothing. Being clever or smart means nothing. You can be clever and smart and mortal on this level of being at the same time, despite your love for endlessness. The world is a hologram. Things appear to be, but are they really here. Do they even exist?

My ten reminders to make you think, live and love. But think, live and love by abandoning all old ways you have thought, lived and loved. Anything is better than the false comfort of walking through life asleep – according to me.

“Don’t turn away from possible futures before you’re certain you don’t have anything to learn from them.”
― Richard Bach, Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah

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How I Met The Word Soliloquy

Once upon a time, just a short while ago and a thousand years at the same time, it was a quiet winter day, when I first encountered the beautiful word Soliloquy. Ever since then, Soliloquy became a prophetic definition, a guiding star above my path of development and miraculous existence.

Now for a touch of reality: it was the winter of 2007, there was smoke coming out of my head from studying, working and lack of sleep, along with anxious attempts to figure out what am I chasing all the time, but I never really meet. I was in a less than a poetic state of being.

Then Bam. Silence. All that stopped for a single moment, that seemed to last forever. Never till that moment had I heard such a loving, caring, more gentle word. Alive and breathing in my lungs. Just like the simple and profound effect of  “I am”, it resonated so much, that its melodic echo persists through every step I make.

According to TheFreeDictionary, Soliloquy is:

  1. a. A dramatic or literary form of discourse in which a character talks to himself or herself or reveals his or her thoughts when alone or unaware of the presence of other characters.
    b. A specific speech or piece of writing in this form.
  2. The act of speaking to oneself.

According to me, Soliloquy is a state of existence, in which you gently observe the act of your soul, but you can also talk with it – that higher self, that carries itself with grace, that is deep in us, yet embracing us with a protecting halo.

Will ever words be enough to describe the journey we are on? No. With words we can paint, harvest, love, create, attach, sing. While it may seem that with words, we are only scratching the surface of Living, the automatic responses that the soul evokes is equal to the basic necessities of water, air and love. In Soliloquy, we are non-judgemental of whatever our state is – we are observing, asking and searching. Therefore, we are the word itself. We hear the silence, concealed within the gaps between words. We hear the silence within the words.

In the state of Soliloquy, we are authentic, connected, present with our eternal being. Our eternal being is talking with our human form about its day. Much like friends over coffee, but less careless. Sometimes the weight of Soliloquy is so huge on my shoulders, that even the best fine tuning will not support its frequency.

That is part of the deal, too. I don’t crave for success or praise. Appreciation is wonderful and humane, and I have learned to “change lives”  in other ways. The ways, in which we are all capable of doing it.

Writing is a tool that turns the foggy footprints of the soul into melodic word frequencies. Svetlina.org is newly found place, where you can join in, stay a while, see if anything resounds within yourself that day. I care for insights, conversations of substance and genuine warmth. I also hope you find it warm int here, the internet is quite cold 🙂

P.S. I write and communicate in Bulgarian and English. Some posts may be published in only one of the languages and lack translation into the other. I may also share stuff in Spanish, Italian or French.

Wishing you a blissful Soliloquy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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